Written by Victoria Wilson-Baldi - SEO & Content Executive
As the resident INSHUR drag queen, I was thrilled to be asked to write the first Friday note of Pride month!
For those who don’t know, my drag persona is Amber Sands, a blonde-haired rootin’-tootin’ country music singer, who also occasionally dons a black wig and sings Paramore. I’m also the front-woman of a drag country music band in Brighton, or as we’ve lovingly renamed it, Nashville-by-the-Sea.
“But I thought only men could be drag queens?” Darlin’, that’s going to need another Friday note!
Alas, I found myself tongue-tied when thinking about what to write; until something happened to me a few days ago.
Last weekend, I was asked to step in at the last minute and entertain the crowds at my local Pride in Chichester, one of the first of the season here in the UK.
I got on stage, sang some Disney, took lots of photos, met some amazing and inspiring people - and was even interviewed for the local paper!
The sun continued to shine on me in the days after Pride, and when the newspaper article appeared - I was thrilled! My face was the cover, they quoted me well and I was so proud - I sent it to my family and friends, and my team mates here at INSHUR.
But, as they say, you should never read the comments - and for good reason. Never was there such a hive of villainy than an unmoderated Facebook comments thread.
My face was the headline image, so I couldn’t help but take the comments personally. I’ve had a bumpy few days to be honest, because I EXPECTED this. I expected to be hated and be called names, and that’s so sad.
But it got me thinking. Those types of comments reinforce exactly WHY we need Pride, and give more power to the cause.
At least after my gigs, I get to take the wig off, peel off the lashes, soak my face in cleanser, take off my costume and come to work as Victoria in her normal life, not Amber.
But for a trans person, or someone identifying as gender non-conforming - their identity is not a costume. It’s who they ARE, and they’re just…living their lives. But attacks like the ones I had are non-stop. From comments made by politicians to powerful children’s authors, it feels like there’s a new hateful voice every day. In fact, a queen I shared Pride with had recently had their jaw broken in a random homophobic attack after they proposed to their boyfriend. In the last week, even the Pope used a highly offensive slur, not expecting it to go public. People like to say the world has become more progressive, but there is clearly so much more work to be done.
I said in my interview that you learn so much coming to Pride, about other people and the wider community. That just when you think you know it all, you don’t.
But now I see Pride as something bigger - it’s a rainbow fortress around those who need it most. It’s protection, a brief break from the gaze of the wider world, it’s being around people who share similar experiences.
As members of the community, and as allies, it’s more important than ever to be louder than the hateful people and drown them out. Especially as we come into a divisive election/presidential season.
So for Pride month this year, I ask you to call out hate when you see it. If someone’s being insensitive with their words, call them out, or if you have questions and want to know more, reach out to me, and let's have a conversation. Accept and respect the people around you - be that little twinkle of shining light when someone's world is being painted dark.
Get tickets to your local pride, join the parade and engage with your local community. Show up.
And if you see me there, SING ALONG. Pretty please.
Have a great weekend and HAPPY PRIDE Y’ALL!
Victoria
(Amber Sands)
